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Good evening ladies and gentlemen!
I'd like to thank you all for attending the annual SFGT end of the year gala. I see Jay wearing a blue shirt, I see a beard that I'm going to assume Vince is underneath of, I see the light of the chandelier reflecting off of Mongo's head, and I see Hogan with his Dak Prescott jersey even though he swore off the Cowboys two short months ago. It's a pleasure to have you all here in New York City as we celebrate the SFGT golf, life, the end of the United States with Election Day soon approaching, and our reigning Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos. We do have business to attend to, however, so enough of the polite greetings. I'd like to thank all of you for once again participating in the SFGT. The league wouldn't survive without any of you playing in it, so I appreciate your loyal service to this group. But, even with all of you playing, only one (well, actually two) can be rewarded. Before HOGAN418 informed me that I hadn't counted him in the Tour Championship, JayPet had edged me in the overall standings by a single point, 470 to 469. However, after factoring Hogan's score in, resulting in a larger field and me finishing better than him, that gave me more points as a result, and I, your selfless leader, have emerged victorious of the 2016 SFGT championship, winning with 478 points to Jay's 470. You may hold your applause until the end of the ceremony. But if you insist, you may clap now. Jay does claim the 2nd place award and will be compensated appropriately by treasurer wvu2011nj. On the note of wvu2011nj... I have some important news to share that does involve him. After much thought and deliberation, I have decided to relinquish my throne as SFGT commissioner and appoint him as the next in line to take the job, if he so chooses. I've reached a point in my life and college career where tournament operations aren't nearly as appealing and fun to me as they once were, and that's been reflected through some of my errors (like today's) over the course of the season. I decided a couple months back this would be my final season, and the fact I ended up getting the crown in my final season makes it that much more easier, although still bittersweet, to walk away on top (like Peyton Manning did). The SFGT was incepted in 2009 led by Us Handicap legends Sylla, Wink, and HEFF. I seceded them in this role in 2012, and after five years, I feel now is an appropriate time to walk away and leave the league in someone else's hands. That said, thank you for being apart of my reign as SFGT commissioner. It's been a pleasure to serve you all to the best of my abilities, even more so since I won this year through the strength of my two major wins. :-) The final points standings are attached below. All the best to you beautiful people in your SFGT futures. Sincerely, Ethan Fisher |
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# 1 11/1/2016 5:05:07 AM |
I want a recount! I live in FL, so I'm sure I can find a hanging chad somewhere.
Damn! If VD had just sent me that 5W, I'd be parading around the FedEx Cup right now. I blame him. |
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# 2 11/2/2016 12:51:53 PM |
Ethan, thanks for your sacrifice and time.. that being said.. since I was the "hanging chad" that propelled you into stardom, I raise a glass to the youngest, unwisest, hockey loving, Denver wearing, skirt chasing, golf addicted, newbie alcoholic drinking, Loud Mouth owning guy I know.. here's to you, Cogolfer.
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# 3 11/2/2016 3:52:57 PM |
Ethan, thanks for your sacrifice and time.. that being said.. since I was the "hanging chad" that propelled you into stardom, I raise a glass to the youngest, unwisest, hockey loving, Denver wearing, skirt chasing, golf addicted, newbie alcoholic drinking, Loud Mouth owning guy I know.. here's to you, Cogolfer. What a legendary toast for a legendary man. Many thanks. |
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# 4 11/3/2016 5:03:14 AM |
Ethan, thanks for your sacrifice and time.. that being said.. since I was the "hanging chad" that propelled you into stardom, I raise a glass to the youngest, unwisest, hockey loving, Denver wearing, skirt chasing, golf addicted, newbie alcoholic drinking, Loud Mouth owning guy I know.. here's to you, Cogolfer. Ok, OK, you would have been giving ME that toast if you missed your tee time. Here's my toast ... "COG, you lucky bastard. Suck on it." |
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# 5 11/20/2016 8:24:38 AM |
I wasn't last, lol.
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