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1. Treat the golf staff with respect and kindness. The nice people enjoy a different set of rules and regulations that allows for more latitude in regards to policy enforcement.
2. If you are participating in the member/guest calcutta wagering, before you choose your horses, go pick the brains of the pros and range attendants. They can tell you who all the sandbaggers are. Compensating them for their invaluable knowledge would be appropriate. 3. Try to avoid any bellicosity with the food services employees. Spit is the least disgusting substance they will secret away in your food. After being called an incompetent, laggard by a club member, a bar tender at my club dissolved a hit of acid in the offender's gin & tonic. We were all mystified when he began yelling and swatting at bats that weren't there. 4. At the range, don't just haphazardly hit balls. Pick specific targets at which to aim. Try hitting at targets other than the flags. It helps you develop your feel and ability to estimate yardages when you find yourself somewhere on the course where traditional yardage markers are unavailable. 5. When warming up prior to a tournament, don't simply rapid fire balls using every club in the bag. Start with your honey club (the club in your bag you consistently hit the purest) to build confidence and generate positive energy. Concentrate primarily on your driver and wedges. Those are the clubs that can make or break a round. When you practice chipping, hit three types of shots; the long pitch that runs out, the short pitch that requires some spin and the flop shot. On the green, begin with twenty footers to get a feel for the green speed then place two tees a putter head apart about two feet from the hole and hit at least twenty five-footers. 6. Pre-tournament round defecation or emesis (if you get a nervous stomach) is important. Also, ensure you are well-rested and sufficiently caffeinated, niconated (for smokers) or narconated (for someone who has to take painkillers for acute rheumatoid arthritis and complications resulting from being shot point blank with a bullet designed to drop a grizzly from 200 yards and consequently losing five fingers and a chunk of my abdomen). It's late. I guess that is all for now. |
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| # 1 4/14/2013 7:50:13 AM |
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Well said. Golf trips are much better.
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| # 2 4/14/2013 5:31:14 PM |
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Bellicosity? emesis?
Geez, I need a dictionary to decipher this. But I won't bother because I can think of a few smarta**es who will be more than willing to pump up their chest and tell me what they mean (after they look them up themselves) and then degrade me for not knowing the meaning of these words. DF, the floor is your's... |
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| # 3 4/14/2013 5:51:52 PM |
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Bellicosity? emesis? Geez, I need a dictionary to decipher this. But I won't bother because I can think of a few smarta**es who will be more than willing to pump up their chest and tell me what they mean (after they look them up themselves) and then degrade me for not knowing the meaning of these words. DF, the floor is your's... Don't get angry with me because you don't know the definition of a word. Use the moment as a learning opportunity and look up the meaning yourself. These are are not erudite words. If you don't understand, try to learn or just piss off and stop reading my posts. |
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| # 4 4/14/2013 5:59:21 PM |
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Bellicosity? emesis? Geez, I need a dictionary to decipher this. But I won't bother because I can think of a few smarta**es who will be more than willing to pump up their chest and tell me what they mean (after they look them up themselves) and then degrade me for not knowing the meaning of these words. DF, the floor is your's... Don't get angry with me because you don't know the definition of a word. Use the moment as a learning opportunity and look up the meaning yourself. These are are not erudite words. If you don't understand, try to learn or just piss off and stop reading my posts. Lol! Love you too Drew! :* |
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| # 5 4/14/2013 7:28:40 PM |
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Bellicosity? emesis? Geez, I need a dictionary to decipher this. But I won't bother because I can think of a few smarta**es who will be more than willing to pump up their chest and tell me what they mean (after they look them up themselves) and then degrade me for not knowing the meaning of these words. DF, the floor is your's... Don't get angry with me because you don't know the definition of a word. Use the moment as a learning opportunity and look up the meaning yourself. These are are not erudite words. If you don't understand, try to learn or just piss off and stop reading my posts. He normally would look the words up himself. But he was too busy taking a cheap shot at me. Because that's all he's got. |
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| # 6 4/14/2013 7:49:03 PM |
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Bellicosity? emesis? Geez, I need a dictionary to decipher this. But I won't bother because I can think of a few smarta**es who will be more than willing to pump up their chest and tell me what they mean (after they look them up themselves) and then degrade me for not knowing the meaning of these words. DF, the floor is your's... Don't get angry with me because you don't know the definition of a word. Use the moment as a learning opportunity and look up the meaning yourself. These are are not erudite words. If you don't understand, try to learn or just piss off and stop reading my posts. He normally would look the words up himself. But he was too busy taking a cheap shot at me. Because that's all he's got. Haha, you crack me up Don. It had nothing to do with you. I was referencing my friend Dan in New York who likes to jump on people who don't know the obscure vocabulary he tends to use when he talks with people. Guilty conscience or what? But if that's what you'd like to believe, more power to ya! |
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| # 7 4/15/2013 10:18:49 AM |
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Sounds like good advice on all points.
SL |
