COMMUNITY

ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND

Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
mind during your swing.

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can
either hit one more club or two more balls.

If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while
the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options:
a) You can immediately shank a lay-up, or,
b) You can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about the golf swing.

No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to
play worse.

The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant
elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to
compensate for all of your many other errors.

Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.

Surprisingly it is as easy to hole a fifty foot putt as a 10 foot one...

Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

It's not a 'gimme' if you're still 5 metres away.

You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and
a two inch branch 90% of the time.

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take
it up at a much earlier age.

Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot
is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always
look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the
ball if you ever want to see it again.

Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently
make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the
universe.

If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does,
simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply
the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; ie. back-swing 20 mph,
handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph.

There are two things you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands:
how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

Hazards attract; fairways repel.

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker,
your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours
is in the footprint or embedded in the far sidewall.

It's easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at
10:00 a.m. to mow the lawn.

A good drive and 2nd shot on to the 18th green has stopped
many a golfer from giving up the game.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you
always end up having to pray a lot.

A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than
you are... that's why I get so many calls to play with friends.

If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of
your life.

Golf balls are like eggs. They're white.
They're sold by the dozen.
And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a
six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does
to become a brain surgeon.