Funnies for the Day...
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
If
you have sex with a prostitute against her will,
is it considered rape or
shoplifting?
Can
you cry under water?
How
important does a person have to be before they
are considered assassinated instead of just
murdered?
Why
do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but
it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's
that extra penny going to?
Once
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for
eternity?
Why
does a round pizza come in a square
box?
What disease did cured ham actually
have?
How
is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put
wheels on luggage?
Why
is it that people say they 'slept like a baby'
when babies wake up like every two
hours?
If
a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?
Why
are you IN a movie, but you're ON
TV?
Why
do people pay to go up tall buildings and then
put money in binoculars to look at things on the
ground?
Why
do doctors leave the room while you
change?
They're
going to see you naked
anyway.
Why
is 'bra' singular and 'panties'
plural?
Why
do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human
being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one
cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
If
the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a
radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole
in a boat?
Why
does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on
all fours?
They're
both dogs!
If
Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME crap, why didn't he just buy
dinner?
If
corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, what is baby oil made
from?
If
electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?
Do
the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
Star have the same tune?
Why
did you just try singing the two songs
above?
Why
do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when
it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you
blow in a
dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him
for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Why,
Why, Why
Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we
know the batteries are getting dead?
Why
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds'
when they know there is not enough
money?
Why
does someone
believe
you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is
wet?
Why
do they use sterilized needles for death by
lethal injection?
Why
doesn't Tarzan have a
beard?
Why
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at
him?
Why
do Kamikaze pilots wear
helmets?
Whose
idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If
people evolved from
apes,
why
are there still apes?
Why is it that no
matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day
that
mattresses
are
not on sale?
Why
do people constantly return to the refrigerator
with hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why
do people keep running over a string a dozen
times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach
down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down
to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end
on your first try?
How
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our
ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well,
it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That
really hurt, why don't you watch where you're
going?'
Why
is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table you
always manage to knock something else over?
In
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm
as it was in summer when we complained about the
heat?
Comments (16) | |
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Pete-L
11/18/2008 12:03:22 PM great stuff here Momma. I copied this and forwarded to my friends! |
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Pete-L
11/18/2008 12:03:22 PM great stuff here Momma. I copied this and forwarded to my friends! |
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MarkNav
11/18/2008 11:57:36 AM great stuff Momma |
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MarkNav
11/18/2008 11:57:36 AM great stuff Momma |
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ed2flowers
11/18/2008 7:46:47 AM LOL |
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ed2flowers
11/18/2008 7:46:47 AM LOL |
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GolfCrazed
11/17/2008 8:48:56 PM good blog momma |
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GolfCrazed
11/17/2008 8:48:56 PM good blog momma |
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Deckmustang
11/17/2008 8:43:40 PM That is funny stuff Momma |
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Deckmustang
11/17/2008 8:43:40 PM That is funny stuff Momma |
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Superman17
11/17/2008 7:19:25 PM LOL!!! |
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Superman17
11/17/2008 7:19:25 PM LOL!!! |
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FRFernando
11/17/2008 6:22:24 PM Then there's my favorite: if 'Pro' is to move forward or positive, as in Progress, then why do we have 'Con'gress ?? |
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FRFernando
11/17/2008 6:22:24 PM Then there's my favorite: if 'Pro' is to move forward or positive, as in Progress, then why do we have 'Con'gress ?? |
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clgman001
11/17/2008 6:04:52 PM Goerge Carlinesqe food for the brain. Good stuff Momma! |