• In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
  • The man who takes up golf to get his mind off his work soon takes up work to get his mind off golf.
  • Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players!
  • Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles.
  • The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
  • There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly ... or start cheating.
  • An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice ... once before swinging, and once again, after swinging.
  • Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.
  • Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
  • Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments.
  • There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
  • Golf got its name because all of the other four letter words were taken.