So, my wife has finally decided to take up golf. She has begun to go with me to play and I like that she wants to play. I'd rather she be with me playing than at home waiting for me to get done. Anyway, this past weekend she was driving me crazy with her complaining about her inability to hit a decent shot. I try to encourage her and tell her constantly she should only expect to hit the occasional good shot. She has never had any lessons nor been on a golfing trip to a golf school with me and so she should have very low expectations.
This past weekend she was complaining about her play and, at the turn, I finally got tired of her whining. So I snapped and told her to quit her complaining, that she shouldn't expect to hit very many good shots because of her being a beginner. I told her I didn't want to hear it; that I was trying to focus on my own game. I think I made her mad at me because she went very quite for a hole or so and then she loosened up and just tried to hit the ball. She quit her crabbing about her shots and just did her best.
She does have a habit of quitting and picking up which is okay when we are being pushed. But when we have no one behind us I encourage her to keep trying. We're not in a hurry since we don't have a time clock and there's no one at home waiting for us (see the beauty of her taking up the game?). At one point she hit a beautiful tee shot and came very close to a water hazard. Her next shot would require her to hit a high shot out of the rough over a tree in her way and stop it on the green that was just over the hazard. The shot was about 80 yards. She went to pick up the ball and I asked her "what are you doing?" She said that she couldn't hit that shot and wasn't going to waste a ball. I told her to try the shot anyway, that's how we learn to hit trouble shots. I told her we have plenty of golf balls (she uses the balls I have saved over the years in bags in the closet. Periodically, our daughter fills the pouch with several dozen balls.). So she tried the shot and hit kind of a mid height skull that cleared the water, got through the tree and landed on the green but rolled just off the back. Since the pin was also in the back she ended up only about 20 feet from the pin even though the ball was off the green. She was very enthusiastic that she had cleared the water. She had a downhill slider but made a decent attempt and managed to 2-putt for a legitimate par 4. She was very tickled to make that par and I was also tickled that she made her par. The enthusiasm I saw in her face when she was successful made my day. I think she experienced the joy that any one of us does when we pull off a difficult shot. One that we think might be a very high-risk high-reward type of shot.
I don't try to "teach" my wife how to play. She is learning by watching me and others. While I have had tons of lessons, been to about ten golf schools and am a very good player, I don't kid myself into thinking I can give ANYONE golf lessons. What little I know about the golf swing is relevant only to my swing since that's the swing I have always worked on. So all I try to do is encourage her and suggest that she experiement with moving the ball in her stance to improve her ball contact. I also suggested that if she consistently hits the ball right she should aim left to compensate. I don't talk to her about keeping her head down (usually not the problem), pronating he right wrist (whatever that is), taking the club back on plane (that's what I work on), nor any other swing concept because I am not a skilled enough teacher to help others with their swing issues.
Anyway, we had a good time and after the round I told my wife that I especially enjoyed the back nine since she had quit her whining and crabbing. I think she appreciated that I noticed and I think she may have gotten the message that no one else cares how you play. We are all focused on our own games and don't pay attention to what others are doing.
Thought you all might be interested in my day with a new beginning golfer that is my wife.
Comments (31) | |
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dewsweeper
10/13/2010 5:44:24 PM How long have you been married ? Women likes to whine about things with their best buddies. If you couldn't take that ( as most men couldn't ), you'll need to do yourself a favor. which is..... IF, your wife enjoys playing golf, please, please, get her some lessons ? You had taken lessons so why not your wife ? If she started to play more, you might end up playing with her only some of the times ( yes, sign up on the list, because she'll join Lady's Club and find other women golfers to play golf with ). Never snap at your spouse because she likes to complain a little. Remember how patient you were with her when you were courting her? Remember it. Sometimes, you'll need to be more resourceful to get the message through; just like your spouse with you. To play golf with your spouse and someone you cared for is a blessing. You are lucky indeed, so don't ruin it. |
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Mark Simmons
10/13/2010 12:39:20 AM You and your wife hang in there. Lindsey's idea of a ladies clinic is a good one. My wife really enjoyed learning with other ladies. We play together regularly and what a joy it is to share the game together. Last weekend we celebrated our 33rd anniversary and one of the things we did was play a round together Sunday. You too can have a lot of good times in front of you. |
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LukeTuzinski
10/12/2010 11:36:14 PM golfing with your wife... you are living the dream my friend.but alas, I only half half the equation. |
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Sylla
10/12/2010 6:12:28 PM It's wonderful that your wife is starting to enjoy the game. I play with my husband every week-end and it's a lot of fun! It's also a great idea not to try to teach her. She'll take lessons with a pro if she's interested. At first, I took lessons because I didn't want to slow down people on the course and a few years later I'm now a 12 handicap. Let's say that I'm not slowing down my playing partners now ;). I hope that you two will plays golf together for many years :) |
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PISC
10/12/2010 7:59:18 AM My wife is a beginner as well. I am playing with her regularly! She has not an athletic bone in her body so she has ZERO expectations. She just hits it follows it hits it again until eventually she hits it in the hole! She started by just walking with us and taking pictures. I really enjoy playing with her! |
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KeithBro
10/11/2010 9:48:45 PM Give the game up.SORRY |
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cogolfer1
10/11/2010 4:58:22 PM There is no way I will play golf with my wife if she is just starting out and does not get lessons from someone who knows what they're doing. I'd love to play golf with my wife if her name is Paula Creamer(that would be sweet as hell BTW) or someone who shoots scores like Txgal or LindesyM, but there is 0 chance that I'll have the tolerance to play with my wife if she is just beginning without knowledge of what needs to happen. Kudos to you Gilbert for going through that and helping her out. |
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TNVol-in-TX
10/11/2010 4:51:14 PM My wife just started playing too and she does expect a little too much from herself. I know she will do good in the end. There is nothing better than seeing her excitement when she hit her first Par 3 green in one, Made her first par, sank he first long put etc etc... Golf is a fun game and I think most of us would be better served from remembering the good shots we had versus the bad shots... Once she has a few more lessons, I think she will do just fine... as others have said, it may be worth getting her some lessons so someone unrelated can set realistic expectations... |
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Duckhunter
10/11/2010 4:02:27 PM This sounds a lot like home. I had my wife take lessons because I knew it would not work if I did it. I'm way to hard. I did show my son, my wife no way. When I play with her I try very hard not to put to much on my game and how I'm playing as she will get under my skin with all her crying about not hitting good shots. I tell her her when your put as much time in as I do and do that for 5 years then you can think you should hit better shots. She wants all her shots to be good now. Best thing I could tell you for now if you want her to play don't keep score for you or her. think about it as range time. Best of luck! |
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ShaunCrawford
10/11/2010 3:59:02 PM Absolutely Gilbert... you're right on... and congrats to your wife, as well! |
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LindseyM
10/11/2010 1:05:42 PM That sounded very familiar....two and half years ago I decided that I wanted to learn to give us one more thing we can do together. however, my husband did try to teach me and as it was not that bad, it was very hard for me to listen to him attempt to instruct me. He would get frustrated and I the same. I almost quit several times over. I found out about a ladies clinic and started going every week and then joined the league. It was much more relaxed and we were all pretty much beginners so we laughed at the bad shots and cheered at the good. I now take lessons regularly and go out as often as I can but still have a hard time playing with my husband. I feel like bad luck. I'm hoping my third year or so I'll have more confidence and patience with him to be able to play with him again. Hope your wife keeps it up; i would suggest a lesson or ladies clinic kinda of thing where she can relate to other female players. |
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txgal72
10/11/2010 12:38:57 PM I am glad that she is starting to play. I enjoy my time on the course with Joe more than anything. I miss him when I play without him. Just curious though - why don't you go ahead and set her up with a few lessons? If she really wants to play and is frustrated by bad shots have her take some lessons so if nothing else she feels more comfortable. |
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HIGH_LANDER
10/11/2010 12:22:24 PM that's Awesome,Gilbert.going in the right direction. |
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ParSeeker
10/11/2010 11:48:53 AM I started playing about 6 years ago and my wife picked it up 4 years ago. Her playing translates into us being involved in a fun activity with some common ground. It also affords each of us an opportunity to play more golf! We usually get along great on the course even though we have become fairly competitive. Hope you have many years of shared experiences! |
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greenjacket13
10/11/2010 9:23:10 AM good thing you pushed her a little to hit that shot so she could experience the satisfaction of the outcome and par is always nice. you could give her little tips, like if she is swaying or doing something that is causing her to hit poor shots but it's cool you're letting her figure things out and trying to take the pressure off of her. a couple lessons wouldn't be a bad idea to get her on the right track and have something to focus on. also, maybe a day at the range just working on things so the added pressure a round can bring isn't there. if i'm practicing and hit 9 bad shots out of 10, no big deal just keep working and be happy i'm not on the course. nice to hear you enjoyed the day for the most part. all that whining and complaining reminds me of jdubs. ha |